POV of a 17 year old

I wrote this my senior year of high school for my Creative Writing class.

Much of my writing is to remind my ‘older’ self of things I learn and how I felt at certain ages of my life.  My goal for this poem was to not only express how I was feeling at that moment, but also to show how I knew in the future I’d be facing the same opinion from my own children.  Do children ever really understand adults before they become adults?  I remember writing and rewriting the ending to express the cycle of the adult/child relationship.  How we think we’ll remember and somehow ‘right the wrongs’ we faced as children, yet we end up creating new ‘wrongs’ with the next generation.

What do you think?

******

I’m getting older and hopefully wiser
although my parents still treat me as a child,
at times.
I suppose I understand
I’ll always be their child.
I am the youngest
the baby
the Lucky One
at least my sister thinks so.
I don’t know about that myself
sometimes

Spin Cycle

Laundry is never ending.  Even as you finish the ‘last load’ something you’re wearing will need to be washed.   And the Spin Cycle seems to take the longest when you’ve forgotten to wash what you need.

While doing laundry one night I thought about the Spin Cycle and me.  The last few months have been a constant state of change.  Not knowing which way was up, if I was headed in the right direction, or, if the news is to be believed, in this ‘dire economy’ my life would fall apart.

God tells us we will be tested.  And times of testing can wear me out.  I pull away from my normal over-exuberance toward others while I attempt to ‘work out’ what’s going on in my life.  And I question WHY I need to be tested.  And… I thought of my clothes.

I wash my favorites over and over because they get the most use and become dirty.  Not because I want

Depraved and helpless

That’s what I am… depraved and helpless.

You may choose to argue it, but you won’t change my mind. Why? Because that’s what scripture tells me about myself. And the older I get, the more I believe it.

It’s a hard thing to accept about yourself. Of course we all want to think that we can change ourselves if given enough motivation, encouragement or self-help books. The truth is, we can’t. We’re helpless to change ourselves and we start out life totally depraved.

“But, you’re a good person” you may say. Umm… no, I’m not. If the voice in my head was on a loud-speaker, it wouldn’t be pretty. How about your ‘inner-voice’… has it said anything recently that made you even more glad no one can read your mind?

Typically when I leave an event, party or even just work I end up ‘rating’